I can stand and pee at the same time, can you?

So I just thought you all should know that, apparently, guys can't do two things, or more, at the same time for some reason. People always go "Girls are better, they can multi-task and guys can't"
Now I think that's a load of bullshit. I am a guy and I can do more than 1 thing at the time.
I can think of plenty more things that proves that women can't do 2 things but guys can.
So yeah sure, keep imagining whatever you want to, but you know you suck more than we do.
I mean, my mom says I can't multi-task and she's so wrong and I always prove her wrong.
She's making dinner and the phone rings and she yell "PICK UP THE GOT DAMN PHONE", yeah right. Women must have less IQ aswell, I mean:
"Mom, I'm hungry"
"Shush, I'm on the phone, if you want dinner earlier, call the pizza delivery guy"
Ehm.. Just me or that is completely retarded in every single way?
So some girls ask me if I can multi-task, just because I seem to be "Oh-so-perfect", and I go "Sure I can, I could bang you AND think of someone else at the same time". Not appriciated.
By the way, I can also stand up and pee at the same time. I've never seen or heard of a girl doing that.

So males' are supposte to be the less intelligent, but stronger gender. I don't approve of that either to be honest. I've seen some damn macho girls and I've seen blonde girls.
Not saying blonde macho-guys are any smarter, but still.
Just think of it. Who invented the atomic bomb? A man. Was Hitler a man or a woman? A man.
Who was the first human on the moon? A man.
Sure, it might've been because women didn't have the same rights as the men did, but there was a reason for that aswell. I mean come on, we all know that women can't drive a car, how the hell would they end up in a damn rocket then?

So yeah, school started again. Not bad, not good, the usual.
The only problem is some new guys. Just the fact that there's 20-30 GUYS in one class does not make it any better, weiner-fest for sure in there! How are people supposte to avoid turning gay?
Nothing wrong with gay.. Back to the subject; A shitload of guys in a class. And it's not like some were fat, some were tall, long hair etc etc, they all looked the same. Short hair, glasses, not well built body, medium height. Oh yeah, fun to be in gym class with those. "Don't drop the soap"
But that's not all. There were girls in the other classes... If you want to call them girls that is, I have no idea why you would dye your hair in such ugly fucking color. Not that it would make that much of a difference with that face, but still, creepy... Abit harsh, but some things must be said so people learn. Being ugly is nothing you want to be nowdays, being beautiful on the outside is the shit, inside will be number 5 on the list or something...
1. Good looking
2. Good in bed
3. Good voice
4. No AIDS
5. Good personality
6. Not adopted
and so on.
Adopted kids can't enjoy their life that much if they find out that they are adopted when they're around the age of 15. Especially not if the kid is emo enough as it is.
I suppose it's different if two, white men adopt a black kid from africa, then it is sort of obvious.
But not otherwise, I mean if I would find out that I'm adopted right now, sure I would be... A little suprised, but not that much to be honest. Not that I'm not like my parents, just... I don't think I would've cared that much.
But yes, if I'm having kids, I want to adopt. So much easier.
I mean come on, if you have sex and your girl gets pregnant (assuming it IS the girl that gets pregnant), you can't have sex for 9 months! or more! .. Ok you can, but you don't do it!
You have to fucking wait until that baby is out and until her vagina ain't a got damn disaster anymore. And they get suprised if you cheat on them when they are pregnant or afterwards! Isn't that obvious?!
"No honey, I want to have sex with your stargate vagina so I can reach beyond space"
No thank you, I rather bang a goat.
So once again, the looks is more important. Not that a goat is good looking, but a goat is sure as hell turning me on more than a stargate, really.


Names, aren't they just perfect? No, I think everyone shoul have a damn number instead of a name. People are getting bullied because of their damn names and they can't do a got damn thing before they turn to a certain age and got rights to change it!
I can't really imagine anyone stand "Haha, 214512! Your name is silly!", no, that's wrong.
If someone get a kid and decide to name it Dick, the parents must hate him or something.. and if it's a girl the kid must've been an accident.
You could never have a real relationship "Oh dick, I love you so much", what are you supposte to answer? "Oh vagina, I love you too" NO, it's just wrong. Dick is not a name you should have.
There are plenty of names that is not suitable for people, or any living things overall.
Or they spell it differently but pronounce it weird. Like Eiste, which is supposte to be pronounced "Icetea". Hmm?
It sure as hell is a good excuse for a married man if the girl named Eiste is a hooker.
"No honey, I was just downtown and bought some "Icetea"". and she's perfectly fine with it.

Got a feeling there's a few things I've said before...

Cake or Death

Food, isn't that one of the greatest things you can ever imagine? Sure is.. If you're HUNGRY!



I just assume I'm not the only one who can't eat 2 minutes after I woke up. It doesn't matter how damn hungry I am, I just can't eat when I just woke up.

So I'm sleeping until I hear my dad yelling down to me "Dinner!", so I try to wake up and look abit "normal" so he won't notice that I've actually slept. So I get up, sit down and look at the food.

"Mmmh, I like this kind of food" That's what I'm thinking... At least one side of my brain thinks that, the other side is "What the fuck is this?! I don't want some damn food, I wanna starv to death" Or something like that, since I just don't wanna eat. So I look at the food for a little while until I decide to put some on my plate. Not very much, it wouldn't even be enough for a baby... A normal baby, not one of those oversized 50kg babies that look like ogres, no, normal baby.

And I finish my food, go downstairs and lay down again.

Now there is a problem. I just ate and I KNOW that it won't take more than 2 hours before I'm hungry again, I KNOW it, but still I don't eat more, instead I wait.

It gets late and I'm damn hungry now, I could eat a horse, or more. So I walk upstairs to snatch some food and for some reason, I don't know why, my dad does not allow it?

I mean, sure, we had dinner, but does that mean I can't be hungry until tomorrow?

I'm not quite sure how he works, or if he's a robot or something, but that ain't normal. I want to be able to eat when I'm hungry without having a roaring monster next to me with a battleaxe.

But I can't, when it's about food in this house, I'm a prisoner. I swear, people in jail got more freedom than I do.

So I think to myself "Fine, screw it! It's not worth risking my life for a piece of bread" So I go down, lonely, cold and hungry to my room and lay down again... Yeah, at least hungry.

I lay down until I fall asleep(of course I do things in between, but nothing I intend to tell).

Special Olympics aren't that special

So a few shit things happend in the world, I do not intend to mention them all, but a few.
Where to start...

The olympics has started! Oh my god! Isn't that amazing?! And it's in China!
That must be one of the worst ideas ever, apart from the fact that the Olymics totally suck anyway.
I mean, sure, the Olympics gives lifeless people something to watch and dream of, so they can say "That could've been me if I didn't spend 40 hours/week on McDonalds..."

So, they placed the Olympics in China, Bejing, and hoped it would get so awesome! And China finally got happy to actually participate in the Olympics. But since it must be their first time or something, they just have to fuck it up in one way or another. Apparently they have people who threw homemade bombs at policemen and shit. A shitload of the contestants could not participate due to the bad air that is in China. Some didn't take a drug-test and couldn't participate, not that it was Chinas' fault, but might aswell blame them for that aswell.
So why the fuck did they place it in China? They just thought they'd be nice to the overwhelming people on earth and place even more in their tiny country. They just had to destroy hundred of peoples home to make the fucking arena for the steroid addicted fucks that just HAD to run yet another year in TV to show people how fucked up they are. JUST to win a fucking medal or some kind of shit. Sure, I will also destroy peoples home to have somewhere to run.
But yeah, once again we've proven that China should be stopped. They try to conquer the world by going berserk during the Olympic Games and show everyone how badass they are.
I swear, Japan is hiding in a corner right now, being so ashamed to just look like chinese people.
When I think of it, whole Asia must just hang their heads in shame. This is the start of yet another world war... Almost, will be Asian Wars, also coming on Playstation 3, Xbox 360 and PC. Buy it Now!

So screw the Olympics and China.

So another funny thing I heard of is that Russia FINALLY got the game World of Warcraft! Isn't that amazing?!?!
They did send up the first rocket in space, but China fucking got WoW before them and therefore a nuclear war will break out. Which will all be about politics and hate between religions. Or so they say. It was actually about Russia being mad that China got WoW before them and China is still pissed of on Russia for sending up that got damn rocket, meanwhile the USA is thinking of a good reason to get involved in this war.
So in the middle of the war, the USA will fly there with their macho air-planes and bomb both Russia and China and say "Russia did not send up the first rocket in space, we did, and we're still pissed off on China since the second world war... And we wanted the Olympics".

Back to the Olympics.
I am glad there is olympics for mentally challanged people. 2 really positive things about it.

1. They show the steroid-addicted fuckheads that they're not the only ones that can look macho on television. Just because you're disabled in any way doesn't mean you're not a person....
2. It's very amusing to watch...

They should put up more things for mentally disabled people, or other kind of people, just to show them to the world, and that everyone is equal... Haha, right! No, but really. To prove the point that anyone can be something big, be the one they want without some shitheads telling them that people are born to be rich, famous and idiots.

Also, why do people get so mad if you tell a joke about some kind of mentally disabled person? I'm damn sure they make fun of us aswell, but we wouldn't know because we're a bunch of blinded sympathy whores, trying to do the right thing and care for everyone of LESS VALUE than ourselves, and of course everyfuckingone is equal! If you want to value a mentally disabled person in a wheelchair who can't wipe his own ass, why don't you have sex with him, get a few kids and then see how much you value your own life?! I do not mean that they aren't people, but if I would fall from a height you shouldn't fall from, get disabled from my neck and down, or worse, I would want death-help. I would want people to actually end my miserable life. But do they? NO! They decided to let them live the rest of their life, unable to move, unable to talk, unable to do anything ,just sit there, shit their pants and let someone wipe it up for them. If you would really care for your son who can't do shit and never will be able to, you would actually, either pay someone to make him able to move or end it.

No wait.. Why don't you put him in the Special Olympics? Maybe you can speed up his wheelchair and he'll win "wheel-100-meter". Maybe then they will sue you for drug abuse in some way, even though they know he can't move a single part of his own body and have not been able to for 15 years.

Make a Special Olympics for "Emo-Kids", that would be interesting. "100-meter slitwrist", "razorbladethrowing". Which will all be held in Mexico, because if then the "emo-kids" got no other choice but running for their lives if they want to live.

Sometimes you have to learn

I've not written in here for so long and now since I'm so fucking bored I might aswell write some now.

So what happend since I last wrote stuff in here? Hmm... Oh yes, I've learned a few things, seen a few things and got a few questions I suppose.

1. I've seen the biggest emo crowd ever, and it was not on a MCR concert.


2. I've realised that people are dumber than I thought, they clearly don't understand the meaning of being ugly, stupid and hated.


3. I've seen things that shouldn't be seen, and worse.


4. I've been told by my own dad that I don't have a life and yet, I have accomplished more than he has in his entire life.


5. I've learned that "emo-kids" are also people, just less important and of less value than whale sperm.


6. Apparently everything isn't about me in this world, which I thought was weird, I always thought it was.


7. I've learned that you shouldn't have too high expectations, it always fails.


8. Apparently you're not a person unless you've been out in the sun during the summer.


9. Also, I've been "schooled" by the biggest geek ever on World of Warcraft, telling me I got no life, no skills in the game (oh god that hurts sooooooo bad) and that I totally suck. Amazing, isn't it?


10. China should have less unprotected sex. I bet their population is more than 1/5 of the worlds population.


11. Who needs gas? I ride the bus, right? Bussdrivers are idiots and not people.


12. Apparently it's wrong to laugh at feminism. Soon we'll see someone forming a group named "We're virgins" and everyone who is or claim to be a virgin are allowed to join.


13. Black people aren't black, they're just darker than white people. Racists has not gotten any smarter since I checked last.


14. Blonde "bimbo" girls that are said to be stupid is not a lie, it's true. "Look at me, I'm blonde" Yes, but you're FAT! Cover up!


15. Ugly people want more attention than sexy people. They simply need people to tell them that they ARE ugly and should wear a bag on the head.


16. There's nothing wrong with fat people, as long as they're on a diet?


17. George W. Bush was not stupid, insane or a douchebag, he just had different opinions and should be shot at sight.


18. Everyone has the same value. That's why kids in Africa starv to death every day.


19. Being thin means you do not eat at all. You're anorexic and will die any minute? No, it means that you're not fat and is doing perfectly fine, don't try to change me! I want to be "S" not "XL".


20. Loving someone is the same thing as being horny. You want him/her in bed and spend as much time as possible with that one person.


21. Humans are meant to eat meat, some people just don't get it.


22. Alcohol is a good way to forget things.


23. Alcohol is a even better way to feel good.


24. Drugs aren't illegal as long as you take them at the right time. So when's the right time to get addicted?


25. The emo culture has gone on way too far. It's not "emo" anymore. It's "I hate my life and wear black clothes, insipire and fuck people below the age of 15 and cut myself constantly because I got nothing to do and I also must infiltrate McDonalds so I can get fat so I got another reason to be sad"-style.


26. Guns don't kill people, the bullet does.


27. Humans does not longer declare war to eachother, they dare eachother to push a button.


28. Having long hair means that people are allowed to pat your head like a dog.


29. Wearing a "hoodie" with the hood up means you are a satanist. Oh really?


30. We are aliens, not animals. It's a fact and we all know it.


31. Humans are as primitive as any other animal, you can't deny the fact that you want to bang hot people.


32. Cheating on someone does not mean you don't love the other one anymore. It means that he/she is bad in bed.


33. Being bad in bed gives you a bad reputation, until you prove them wrong or kill them. Maybe you shouldn't have cheated on your wife?


34. Internet was made to spread porn and addicting people to certain stuff.