I'm so happy, I'm so glad that I met you, I just wanna thank you, and thank you means MERCI!

I'm so glad that all you mother fuckers who actually read this blog, put down the effort to even think for yourselves for a split fucking second to even bother write down ONE fucking comment

Camping is fun, 6 million Jews can't be wrong

Oh yeah
Turning the other way must be one of the most "tools" ever invented
Yes, turning the other way, turning away, turning the other cheek.
I mean, if someone says something, and you just give them a short look and then turn around and start walking or just remain turned around, they know that they either succeeded in their quest of making you in a worse mood or that they said/did something they shouldn't have done
It works each time no matter what
That person might not give a flying fuck about you, it still works to a certain point either way

Just think of how many things that would be different if everyone did it. Just imagine when the "terrorists" bombed the World Trade Centers at 9/11. Just imagine if Bush just would've gone "Meh, what the hell, it's just two towers and a couple of lives. We'll get over it" and then he would walk away.
Or if the Jews would've done that to Jesus?
"Meh, just another attention seeking maniac. Ignore him"
Or Hitler maybe? Or the consequenses after the second world war, what if everyone would just ignore the 6 million Jews that died and just carried on?
Although then we would probably have even bigger consequenses after that...

Either way, we all know that's not the way it is, now don't we?
Yes, Bush did indeed get all crazy and bombed. Jesus did get crusified and died. Hitler did kill all the people and no, we did not ignore the consequenses.
But still, it's such a powerful tool.
I would imagine boxing matches. First they fight eachother like it's a matter of life or death, but suddently, one of them goes "Meh", turns around and walks away...
... Doesn't matter now, what's done is done
And frankly no one gives a damn anymore

Yes, because it's cool

So many retards out there, claiming to be bisexual/gay, and I don't know why.
They say they kissed someone of the same gender as them and that means, THAT DOES MEAN, that you indeed must be gay or bisexual.
"Oh man, but I think I liked it, she were a good kisser and had smooth lips, and she's good looking" Says the girl who just kissed another girl when not being sober and now she thinks she's bisexual because of that.
And yes, in this case it is a girl I'm talking about.. Well, several girls who claim to be gay/bisexual.
Fine if they actually are gay, they do have sex with the same gender as them, they get turned on by it etc etc. But when they advertise on a fucking chat site about it "I'm looking for a girl/Guy who is also bisexual" FUCKING GREAT YOU DOUCHEBAG! Why in the world would you advertise about it on a fucking website where there's nutsacks and creeps?
I got the answer for you! The answer is that you are DESPERATE!
D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E-!
"But I just got dumped by my girlfriend" No fucking kidding you just got dumped, if you're that much of a slut, that desperate to have some close encounters with another human organism, you should fucking get dumped.
No one in the entire fucking world gives a flying fuck about you being bisexual. So stop fucking advertising about it, because if people decide to start writing to you, after they've seen that message, 9/10 is writing to you becase they're as desperate as you and just wants to find someone/something to hump so bad, and in worst case just rape.
But yes, please douchebags, PLEASE do keep advertising and then you'll see where it gets you

"Hi, I'm bisexual, I want to talk with boys, but girls are also alright" Fucking hell...

Angry?

Yes

Fast Forward

Test in school/collage/education place, whatever the fuck you want to call it as long as you won't say university, as I'm not that far yet. Yes! Not that far YET! So anyway...
As I was saying, a test, a big one, they gave us alot of time. I think they said we had 5 hours to write something about something, in something else they gave us and bla bla... And then they started it and we had to sit there, shut the fuck up and write for several hours, but we were indeed allowed to leave the school when we were finished.
Now, they did give us 5 hours, they told us to bring food and such because we weren't allowed to leave to eat and then come back, only thing we were allowed to leave for was to go to the loo, and they were paranoid about that aswell, like we were going to cheat.. Not sure how you can cheat though on that kind of test, where you write stuff that is based on yourself to 90%. Anyway... Uhm, so.
We had 5 hours yeah, and it started... And I was sitting there for 45 minutes and then I were finished.

Now, my question is: Who the FUCK decides to sit there for FIVE FUCKING HOURS?
You don't need all that time, really, you don't. You barely need 2. And since it's a pretty big test, shouldn't there be some pressure on the students? I mean, 5 hours, that's no pressure at all. That's like telling someone who's robbing a bank "Uh excuse me, sir, but the policemen will be here in 3 hours from now, so if you want to get away with this crimescene you should get going soon"
Yeah, get going soon. Please do, but don't forget to bring some lollipops to share with everyone and have a nice, warm cup of tea while you're at it.
NO! IT'S NOT A FUCKING VACATION! IT'S A MOTHER FUCKING TEST! PUT SOME PRESSURE ON THE STUDENTS GOD DAMNIT! NO WONDER WE'RE ALL SHIT NOWDAYS

An hour or so..

This is indeed a common question but it doesn't make it less true

Why would you make a porn video that lasts for 30 minutes, an hour, two hours?
It's not like anyone every masturbates for over 10 minutes, max.
And to be honest, why would they add a story to a porn movie? The reason you watch the movie is because you want to masturbate, not because you like the story. I've never heard anyone going "Dude! You gotta watch that porn movie, the storyline in it is GREAT!" No, it just won't happen.
And why is it that all porn movies, videos, "homemade" videos, are always so fucking odd? It's never anything regular or something you would do normally. That kind of shit never happens to you?
I mean honestly, how often would you find yourself having sex with 2 girls, banging one of them whilst the other one is getting teabagged? No, it just won't happen. Then again, I doubt I'd find much pleasure in having a girl sucking my own balls off whilst the other one decides to scream like a fucking maniac "YES COME ON! FUCK ME HARDER! FUCK THAT PUSSY!" I don't see where that is a turn-on.

So anyway, when guys masturbate, they do it differently from when they do it with a girl around, and I'm damn sure girls do it differently aswell.
Guys also have to ask the same question, over and over, "Do you like that?" And we do expect the same answer as always: Yes.
Well fucking of course she likes it you fucking numbnut, or else she wouldn't have sex with you unless she's mentally derranged and is some sort of nympho.

I'm sure I've brought this up before...

The reason, the will, the trust

Why?
Because I can

Honesty, 10 dollars

I honestly don't think I can be fucking arsed to care anymore.
So why don't most of you, just go fuck yourselves. Mainly because you really don't know me, therefor you can't really care, and that comes down to the fact that most of you must be liars, amirite?
Good, now fuck off.

Threaten someone with the banana gun - EverydayHero to the rescue

How do you actually define a hero?
Is it an everyday-hero who picks up your wallet when you drop it, so you won't lose it, or is it firefighters, who save people from burning buildings and save lives?
Or is it those in the movies. They have super powers, they're invincible, strong and almighty?

The meaning of the word 'hero', depends on what that one person have done.
Let's say you save someone from drowning, pulls up the person from the water, gives mouth to mouth and saves a life, the person wakes up and calls you a hero for saving his/her life.
Or is that a saviour? You just saved someone from dying. Savior or hero?
Nowdays, we know that there is nothing supernatural, there's no superheroes in the world, no one can fly.
So the question remains: Who is a hero?

I'd say that everyone is a hero, it's just that there will always be someone better.

Greet the end

Some people just need some extra attention, barely that.
Sometimes they just need something little, that little extra thing.
I'm not talking about attention whores, they're way out of my league, but ordinary people you see each day... Ordinary, depending on how you see them.
Sometimes what seems to be the hardest thing to do, is the easiest there is.

Sometimes, a "hello" is enough to bring someone back on their feet.


Then again, why should we give a damn about people we don't know at all?
The odds are that you won't ever, in your entire life, likely to see that one person ever again, depending on where you saw him/her.
We're born selfish and lonely, and every creature in this world will die alone.
Even a dog, just before death, will crawl away to an empty place without anyone around, just to die there, alone.
Same would go for humans, it's just that they decide to fucking strap us to a bed and keep us alive until they realize you're either completely dead or old enough to let go of.

Imperfect the way you are

There's nothing wrong.
It's just the indifference between two people that makes it seem less right.

Sympathy devided by 0

To be completely honest, I'm not sure why we do it, I mostly don't.
When we feel bad, angry or depressed, we tend to tell people about it, write things about it, show it on a picture etc etc.
Some people say they don't give a flying fuck about what others think, for some it's true. Some people say they do care what everythink and must do it. Even though they talk alot, and say alot, I doubt everything is true. Of course there's times when it can be true and there is people who speaks nothing but the truth, but still.
We tell people how bad we feel, what happend during the day, we get the attention we want so we know what others think and just to find out that there's still people out there that care for you. Sometimes you already knew it and sometimes you want to find out.
We upload a sad picture, show a sad face. We make a drama-scene or tell a story, fake a smile even though some people can see right through it.
And in matter of fact, I do care for some. Most people refuse to believe and that I care for I, me and myself only. I would say I care for myself the most, but that does NOT change the fact that there are people out there who I can care for. It won't always show, even though I do.

Not everyone want to, or can, show it as others may think. Some people ask you why you never show feelings, why you never care, why you're never there for them, why you don't call, why you never text them, and so on, and there's a simple answer to that. You're not just that kind of person. This does not mean you're a careless, lonely bastard who don't deserve anything better than shit, no... Well, sometimes it might, but still. You don't always need to show that you care, to actually care.

I guess all we want is some sympathy from time to time.

Leaning banana in classroom

I'm not sure if I am a bad person or not anymore.
We had this dude in school/collage(whatever you wish to call it) today.
First he stands there, normal as everyone else and talks about stuff that was rather interesting.
Suddently, he stops for a second and asks for a glass of water. Alright, just as we're about to give him a glass of water, he leans towards the whiteboard and then falls down on the floor. It looks something like this: Take a banana, make it "stand" and then let go. The way it falls down, that was the motion he did. And just as he falls down, it made me laugh. But he didn't actually fall. He passed out.. Well sort of.. That was more of a "pre-pass-out", 'cause he gets back on his feet and then decides to fall once again. And I seriously can't get that image out of my head.
People don't really understand it, the funny part is not that he passed out, just the way he looked when he did it.
"I'm ok, I'm ok" Lean towards the whiteboard and WTF-Falls to the floor like a stiff banana on drugs.

Also, for some reason we had red pears today instead of green.
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!

Hysteria

I just can't take people who complain about their love-life, their social life or just their own fucking life. It's just like we're supposed to actually give a damn. So there they are, just found a new one and tells everyone how fucking perfect they are for eachother, how happy they are, how they love eachother, how they're gonna get kids etc etc. And yet, they met this weekend on a fucking party, and yes, they do already know eachother.
A week later one of them want some time alone, says it and all hell breaks loose. "HE DOES NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE!" /wrist
He never loved you, you dumb fuck, he wanted to bang you, he USED you. Or it's the other way around. He finds out she's been cheating on him, gets depressed because once again, another girlfriend dumped him. He should be used by now, no one really wants him, he's a one-night-stand that just won't let go.
So there we go again, he's sobbing over another dumb emo-girl who dumped him, opens internet, finds the usual chat site, find a new girl who lives pretty close, starts flirting and the same thing happens again. It's a vicious circle - A vicious circle that we all laugh at sooner or later.

Blasphemy

Just blasphemy

Dear God, I touched your son in his dirty spot

Apparantely, I'm a mix between an Atheist and a Satanist, which to be honest might just be true.
I mean, I don't believe in god, I think religion is complete bullshit, just taking the bible for an example. The bible is almost as filled with action like the Die Hard 4 movie and almost as dramatic as Days of our lives. Either way. I don't believe in god or anything like it, I don't believe in life after death, I don't believe in Heaven or Hell. I don't think there's any good or evil in this world, nor good or evil deeds, just moralilty.
Also, I'm not sure anymore if I should admire or despite people who have a religion and believe in it to 100%.
I admire them abit because; they believe in something, they find it easy to find safety in nothing, they think they know what happens when they die, they pray to nothing(if they pray).
I despite them because; they're idiots, they're hipocrites, they believe in a higher being which never shows itself, they believe in something that can be easily proved wrong with science.

I suppose that was the "Atheist"-part, and believe that the "Satanist"-part of me is something like this:
I don't believe in anything of a higher call, and if I would believe in anything, it would be myself.
I believe that I am more valuable than others, by miles that is.
To be honest, I'm not sure how much this is related to Satanism, but I don't find it wrong to kill innocent people just for the sake of killing them. I would make exceptions, but not too many and I would most likely be able to kill anyone. I might give it a second thought, but not now.
I hate/dislike almost everyone around me, almost everyone, NOT everyone.
Then again, I'm not trying to be a Satanist, or Atheist, because I hate religion overall. Not that Atheism is a religion, but still I don't call myself an Atheist, it's just that Atheism/Satanism probably is the closest I could get to describe my "so-called" beliefs.

Also, I'M NOT A FUCKING JEW!

Pose bitch, pose!

As the title says: Pose bitch, pose.
When you do take pictures, of yourself or someone else. Most of the time you have fun or you're gonna show something/someone/yourself, so you strike some kind of pose or do something, you stand in a weird way, whatever. When you've taken about 50 egopictures, or something like it, you decide to take look at them and that's when you realize it and think something like this:
"Ehm... I can't believe I looked like that when I took the picture, I look like a complete, straight-up retard", and just as you're done thinking that, you say to yourself: "Thank fuck no one saw that but me".
It's not always like that.
Sometimes when you're taking pictures, private or not, there's someone watching you or just happen to see you. So just when you stand there, without pants, doing the most fucked up pose ever, having a weird smile on your face, thinking to yourself "Thank fuck no one can see me", do some weird move and take a picture - There's someone watching you and can't see your camera, you don't know where, when, why or how, but there is, and that person will most likely be scarred for life. And that person, wherever he goes, or she, whatever he does, he'll think for himself "What the fuck was he doing in there?... What the hell was that?! I WANNA KNOW!"
He will keep going on like that until he dies or meets you and get to ask.
So until next time you decide to take a picture, take a look around, save a life.

If ghosts can walk through walls, how can they carry items?

So yeah, don't you just fuckin' love people who take stuff for granted before they know fuck all about it?
I sure do.
That way you can ask them something and in just a second, you know who they are.
That means that they are idiots, yes indeed they are.
I mean sure, I judge people before I talk to them, I take stuff for granted without knowing anything about it, but not like that. I drew a line ages ago - Everyone is an idiot until they prove me wrong - and I must say, people suprise me from both ways. Yes, there's a shitload of idiots out there, but there's also been people that's been more or less, completely awesome. Cheers!
Anyway, I'm more or less Ok with people who don't agree with me, that think otherwise, but I can't take people who says my opinions are wrong. How can they be wrong? They're mine, aren't they?
Also, people who says things that are completely wrong and won't give in even though you proved them wrong several times, I just hate them.
It's like throwing yourself into a pile of razorwires and thinking you'll be fine, it's just some scratches.
I probably just go back to the usual "Everyone-I-Meet-Is-Retarded"-Subject, which I'm trying so hard not to do.
Therefore, I'll change subject straight away.

So yes, I am a bad person but this actually made me laugh.
Apparently, people that are overweight nowdays, need to pay double the price, or more. They block the way in the middle of the train, they take up 2 seats, can't get the belt on themselves etc. etc. Not everyone of course, but most of them.
I mean, ok, fair enough if they take up more space than people that aren't overweight, that's just obvious, and forcing them to pay twice the price for 2 seats even though they're traveling alone, also obvious. But why don't they just change some of the seats into bigger seats? Would be more or less like couches, but still.
Then again, it's not the airplanes fault that people are fat, especially not americans, which this article was about. Of what I've heard, seen on news etc. etc. alot of the americans are now overweight, and now I actually believe them. Maybe if they skip all the fastfood they eat, just try taking the stairs up instead of the elevator and just move a little more, and not just their fingers in front of the TV, then MAYBE they wouldn't be so got damn fat?
It is their own fault that they're fat, not ours.
Back to the subject - expensive to be fat.
To be honest, it can't just be the airplanes that get more expensive, it must be breakfast, dinner, clothes, riding the bus(if they can). Nearly everything must get more expensive once you get overweight. If I notice I'm about to get fat, I'll do something about it without any doubts in the world. But hey, that's just me.

Up, down, left, right and wrong

I miss the good old days, when you could be amused by watching a stone roll down a hill, you could imagine being an astronaut and try to jump off a building, pretending to be in outer space, and such intelligent stuff.
Nowdays to keep yourself amused you need to reach down between your legs and actually do something! Who the HELL invented maturity?!
And the one who invented it, why did he have to chose a specific fucking age to when people are supposed to get mature?!
"Hey, how old are you?! 12??! Act your age!"
How about no, scotty?

The End.

Valentines Day Massacre

Valentines day, another bullshit day we thought of because we wanted people, for once, to be nice, caring and loving towards eachother. To me, this is like any other fucking day in my entire life. Now people might think "Maybe because you don't have a girlfriend, or boyfriend if you like? Then maybe you can spend time with your family?
How about no, idiot?
If I want to spend time with my family, I would spend time with my family and not on a specific fucking day where there's gay pink hearts everywhere, people running around like idiots telling eachother how much, in the entire world how much they love eachother, and not to mention the fact that we spend a shitload of money on gifts we could buy any other day on the entire fucking year, the only difference would be that there wouldn't be cuddly hearts and pink colors on it.

You can almost compare Valentines day with New Years Eve. It's almost the same thing, although on New Years Eve you decide to spend money on rockets and such useless shit and booze, so you can blow your hands and face up, get drunk and wake up the next day(hopefully), and think back to it and say to yourself "What the fuck did I do last night? Oh well, it was awesome" Yes, indeed it was when you blew up your face, your hands and your neighbours house. Not to mention that you made out with another girl and your girlfriend dumped you, had sex with another guy and then committed suicide due to depression.
So Valentines day is almost the same as New Years Eve, the difference is the colors and what you spend your money on.

For some reason people get more offended and even more depressed when you cheat on someone, or say something mean, on Valentines day, because it's supposed to be the "day of love" or something like that.
So that means if I would cheat on someone.. for an example, yesterday, which would be Friday the 13! "Oh noez, it's bad luck!" .. What's that smell?... Smells like BULLSHIT!
Anyway, so if I would cheat on someone on Friday the 13th they would just say "Ah shit, it's bad luck and I hate this day, maybe I'll find my REAL true love on Valentines day" Yeah, maybe you will?
Or maybe you won't? Maybe you will end up on a party with a shitload of horny chavs, get drunk and end up in a situation that 9/10 people enjoy.
Yes, dear you, I'm speaking of gangrape.

Swed-o-Fail

And so people ask me why I hardly ever go outside my house. Why I never see other people?
Why I am such an asshole? Such a bitch.. Yeah, I wonder why. Maybe because each time I decide to see someone, someone that is more or less interesting, there's something that prevents me from seeing them again.
And by "seeing them again" I mean within the upcoming 3 months. I shouldn't complain, because I did see people I want to see.. I don't blame the people I see, I blame Sweden.

Isn't something way fucked up when it's cheaper to buy a ticket to go to Denmark, then fly from Denmark to London and back again, than buying a ticket and go further up in Sweden?
Where the fuck did we go wrong?!
Things here shouldn't be so got damn expensive.

Anyhow, there's few other things that's wrong here.
Apparently it's wrong to throw a newspaper in the head on someone you don't like. No, I didn't do it, but someone else did, and apparently that was wrong.
In my opinion, no, it wasn't. If it was for me to decide I would decapitate her. Fucking wanker.
No, the teacher said it was wrong and so did a few other numbnuts in the class. Until he got out to me and told me why he was thrown out of the classroom and I went "FUCK YEAH!" Because, frankly, I don't give a fuck about her. I can't help that I don't care for a bitch that no one actually likes. Oh dear, if she reads this she will get mad.. Again, I don't give a fuck, no names mentioned.
So where am I going with this?
Right, there's no fucking difference in the genders to be completely honest.
Yes, of course there's a difference, but not when it comes to this kind of stuff.
Just because you're a girl doesn't mean a guy don't have the rights hit you, but other men. No, either you have no fucking rights to touch anyone or you can hit anyone you wish. I'm not saying that I'm running around like a complete mental reject and bashing girls. Just saying that I should be allowed to. Girls can be as dangerous and strong as guys, but people don't think like that. They think that "Girls / women actually are the weaker sex and should be treated more carefully than guys" pfft yeah right, and that's not discriminating?
And besides, there is guys that are more girls than guys. For an example, emo-kids. Geez, is it a girl or a boy? Don't know..
And when it comes to pure emo-scene-whatever-o-kids, I try to stay away from them that refuse to show their face completely, you never know if it's a guy or a girl, and nor do they. They meet eachother, make out, go down on eachother and then they realize that they both had weewee's, woah, they're gay...
Or they're lucky and end up with someone with the opposite sex.
Anyway, what I actually wanted to say from the beginning, as I probably said, was that Sweden sucks. Society here sucks...
Let me kill someone and get away with it, pretty much each day, and I'll be amused.
Until then, fuck off and enjoy the ride.